Land Of Fire & Ice

In the land of fire and ice
the shooter never thought
twice

Just ruthlessly tracked the
kids down
Making sure all were dead
as they hit the ground

Some tried desperately to
escape by jumping in the
water
That only fueled his desire
for more slaughter

One by one the young teens
silently fell
Surely God will punish this
monster..he deserves to be
forever in hell

Sorrow abounds in the land
of fire and ice...

Poem rom Joe...Written to My Daughters Friends

This is a poem Joe wrote to us after he came to NY when Sandy was in the hospital last year. It was very touching and sweet of him to take the time to write, especially since he was not a great typist: "year's ago i met a lady,a person of brightness.she alway's looked for the silver lineing.time's would be bad or worse,butshe would still smile like a candle on the darkess night.proud to stand with her.we have had our time's.good bad terrible and great.three did we raise,three that i am proud to call our's.our daugter while growing up,alway's had her friend's over.show up anytime,stay all the time,sleep over.they would drive me out of my mind.never knew who would be in the house.morning would be a trip,really steping over them,because they stayed up alnight watching t.v..my lady would only smile at my complaint's,who ate my lunch ,who's pant's are these,what happen too the cookie's,what do you mean i have to pick them up.drove me crazy.smile she would and a small laugh,my lady would say they are here,they are good what more could we ask. 20+year's have gone bye,while vist'ing our daughter suffer'ed heart failure.these pain in the ass,rotten,loud ,annoying,girl fiend's where there.ladie's of brightness they had become.long drive from picking me up at the airport,not a short trip,a hard hug and a tear,a small smile of hope.stood tall they did.helping,in every way.with them there i knew my daughter was in good hand's.the comfort they gave just by being there. thank you colleen and mary may you have children who have friend's like you. thank you"

My Love

My love, my hopes, my dreams
my inspiration...gone so suddenly.
We never know, how do you prepare
for that moment?
Never thought you would leave me
It was your time, you didn't have a choice.
Left with so many memories of you, I'd like
a do-over God if I could.
I'm like a ship without a rudder, a horse
without a rider, a balloon floating free.
Miss you more than words can say...
Have I told you that I love you today?
Yes, I have...forevermore....

The Midnight Wind

The midnight wind blows softly
through my window
I sigh gently seeking the
comfort of your arms
knowing you are gone
but still feeling you near
No one understands the pain
of my loss
They all say I am holding up
well..
Inside my soul is burning, ripped
in half as it were
A part of me is gone lost
forevermore
I never wanted anyone else, I
was always faithful as were you
I now wonder what do I do? Stay
alone forever, look for a new love?
How do I find a friend, a lover, a
companion, a tease, a reason to
love?
I guess time will tell....
The midnight wind blows softly
through my window...

Friendship

Friends come and go throughout the
years.
Bringing with them memories that we
hold dear.
Join in the laughter, sometimes bellowing
till it hurt.
How many card games, poker or Uno can
people play loosing their shirt.
Dinner at Beefsteak Charlie's what a hoot,
all you eat shrimp fest.
Of course, Patti & Joe did their best....
Platters of shells still remain to this day,
while waiters waved us away!
Memories are fragile things, remembering
a time, a place capturing a mental picture
of time & space....
Wish that I could hold that memory tight in my
hand....willing it not to ever leave my memory..
ever......

Midnight Dreams

Dreaming dreams of you my love.
Every night I feel your breath against
my cheek..your hand on my thigh.
Snuggled against me, spoon fashion
sharing our body heat.
You laugh saying this is no way to
fall asleep!
Our passion rises and falls with each
breath we take...
I dread the sunrise as my ghost lover
fades with the coming day....

People walk by on their way to
wherever
I search their faces seeking you
wherever
A friendly smile, a glint in the eye
whatever
Knowing full well you are gone
forever.......

Checking & Rechecking

Oh, boy where do I look first?
Each journal is special to me
when writing has slaked my
thirst.

AOL threw us for a loop, never
gave warning or even a blurp.

Thirty days notice and then
get out, leave and take the
crap with you, not even a
by your leave.

A new home is offered with
welcoming arms...new neighbors
wave "hi", old friends are found.

Five years of our lives - right down
the tubes.
Turn around in this world and boy
do you loose.

Of course, we will manage, we will
survive...
This community called Jland will
most likely thrive.

J-Land's Fifth Anniversary

Five years in J-land went by

ever so fast

Meeting new people, reading their

lives, making friends that last

 

Feeling so much empathy for

friends that we have not met

Sort of stops the theory of

a stone cold net

 

Imagine a place where your feelings

do matter and count

Somewhere that you can let it

 all spill out

 

Never before have ordinary people

been able to express themselves

to such a degree

It's simply a wonderful place for

you and me

 

I think back to the beginning for me,

July 7th, 2004, never knew how much

I would be touched

Finding myself laughing, giggling like a

school girl so much

 

Friendships came and grew,learned to

love people that I hadn't met.

Two of the dearest Lahoma & Kim tore

at my heartstrings and still do yet.

 

No one can tell me that this is a cold

 unfeeling place

May J-land continue to thrive and

grow with majestic grace....

 

Sandi

Leaving On A Jet Plane

 

A terrible sadness washes over me

yearning for what could of been

and now shall never be.

 

Carefully plotted adventures torn

 suddenly, cruelly apart.

A future together is now all blown

away as simple as dust.

Walking hand in hand down life's

highway is what had been planned.

Now one is flying miserable at

35,000 feet without part of his

heart.

The other is clinging to family and

friends afraid to stand on her own

two feet.

 

The moral of this story is that it takes

two adults to make a couple, a commitment.

In the normal circle of life, woman will

cleave to man and leave her family willingly.

Knowing in her heart of hearts that she is

the nucleus of a brand new extended family.

When one is ready and the other not, only

heartbreak can ensue.

 

Fly high my son, dare to dream your dreams

Go forth knowing you are loved, let nothing

hold you back from what you want from life.

 

Someday, someway this will just be a distant

memory, something not quite so painful.

In it's place will be a beautiful, smiling new

love one that's worthy of your wonderful, kind

nature.  It will happen.

 

I love you...Mom

 

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St Valentines Day Massacre

Once again pure white

 snow is stained red

Students falling to their

knees learning of their dead

 

The hallowed halls hear screams

of terror and fear

As the black dressed man unloads

his weapons at kids we hold dear

 

The demons that pursue him cause

him to act inhumanely to his peers

Bringing death and destruction

An end to dreams that

will last for years and years

 

This story has been told over and over

The same player...a loner, on medication,

no close friends, dresses in black and

loves guns

People come forward shaking their heads,

this was not the fellow we knew

he was quiet, he was a good son

 

His father is shaken to his very core

You can certainly see that as he stands

by his door

Pleading with cameras to be left alone

how could he know what is unknown

 

Sandi..2/15/08

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Losses

 

 

Losses

 

My mind's eye plays a myriad of fleeting

images passing ever so quickly

 

Dark brown eyes laughing in the distance

echo's of love lingering ever so gently

 

A sense of humor that did not stop, loving

life at it's fullest

Full of jokes, stories and most of all faith.

My West Virginia friend, that I had never

met...yet close to her I felt

Till we finally meet ... a fond goodbye

 

 

Green eyes flashing protecting hearth and

home ever so greatly

She was my beautiful Irish Warrior Princess

So delightful to know, to read her story

Her love of family was wonderful to behold

She told her stories in the old world way of

"telling" an Irish way about her

 

Will never forget them until my time is done

Time passes on, babies are born and the

circle of life continues...it should be ever so

 

Death comes to all of us, that much is certain

Peel back the curtain, peer into it's face

fighting to stay ever so much

 

Missing the laughter, even the tears - nothing

seems right with the two of you gone...

wishing to turn back time ever so

 

 

 

Sandi/2008

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Just Thinking

Sometimes I wonder to myself questioning

the why and the where of it all?

I view the beauty of a new born babe,

cradled so carefully, safe from a fall.

The faces of our aged parents filled with

lines and creases earned with care.

 

I see the pictures of the fallen, young men in

their prime.

All dead long before their time.

 

Life, itself, seems so fragile to me, breathe

deeply lest your last breath be gone.

Hold deeply to the ties that bind, not

letting go whatever goes on.

 

For all the beauty of this world to exist, there

must be a greater plan.

Some structure to life that we can't see, hear

or feel.

I can't say which religion is truer, all I feel

is that there is a higher power.

Perhaps now my friends know the answer that

I am searching for...

To think of death is a frightening thing, yet

we shall all come to it, one way or another.

 

I want to believe that Heaven is as a beautiful

Garden, filled with kindness and love.

That's where I will find my loved ones, waiting

for me as I approach St. Peter's Gate

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Age

 

  Chase your dreams,

                  do it today.

                  Come what may, don't let
                  them drift away.

                  The years fall gently from
                  youthful adventures.

                  Only to resurface deep
                  within old age's tenure.

                  Memories to make us laugh,
                  reminisce and weep.

                  So many people, loved one's
                  lost to the deep sleep.

                  Chase your dreams, do it
                  without delay.

 

 

 

 

     

                  

Five Years

Five years have passed.

Memories of that fateful day

woven into our nations soul.

We are left totally aghast.

Our beliefs waiver still with

questions as large as the hole.

 

Keep our nation safe, we pray

to the Lord.

Bless the heroes of that awful

day, pray for the fallen.

Only a few pulled from the inferno,

hoping beyond hope for more.

 

Children as yet unborn shall remember

this day, as another day of infamy.

Of man's inhumanity towards man.

When weeping faces upturned seek

solace from beyond.

It is too much too bear, hoping against

all hope, remove this horror so

 that a new day will dawn.

 

Time heals all wounds...but not this

Epitaph

 

  I do remember the good times..

 What do you say for one who
has passed beyond this mortal coil?
Knowing full well that this is the
fate that awaits us all.

Of course, I could say the usual repertoire,
he was a man known for his reason
and good works.
That would not tell the full story or flesh
out his being, show all of his quirks.  
It's been five years since the earth
felt your breath.
You have persons who mourned very
heavily when told of your death.

 A daughter still grieves finding no solace,
 not allowed to say goodbye by your
miserable spouse.
Why you picked such a creature to marry
is beyond my ken, knowing you as I knew you then,
you didn't deserve such a louse.

Your son puts you on a pedestal,
remembering his moments of Father-Son fun.
Life can seem unfair at certain times,
all your life you just seem to run.
No time for love, laughter and even tears.
Hurry through life awaiting your golden years.
Life played a sorrowful game, after years of work.
...no relaxation, only time for tears.  

 You only lived a year past Oba-san,
did you know you were dying when
you said your farewells to her?
This need for secrecy was it borne out of fear,
or did someone pressure you not to speak?
Human nature being as it is..I can see her hand
involved with the greed.
Her need to control even beyond the grave
was so despicable that even Nakajima-san
was horrified at the deed.  

 I often wonder if you are looking down at
us at different times.
Hopefully you are at peace, a blissful rest that
you fully deserve anything less would be a crime.

So many years, the grand babies are growing
and I see part of you in each of their faces.
It fills me with sadness that you could never take
them anywhere, anyplace.  

 I do remember the good times

Respect

 

I feel defiled, deflated and betrayed.

To promise one thing, yet deliver another.
Feeling totally played and dismayed.

Community broken, severing the links

 that bind us as Jland brothers.  

 We soared with the Eagles flying high

 above in the sky.

 Crashing to earth on a given day

 when everything dear was taken away.

 Normal routines are shot to hell,

 they just want us to get use to Pavlovs bell.  

 They wined us and dined us - led us astray.

 We fell for their lies hook line and sinker.

Played on their Beta for all it was worth,

checking that their product certainly would work.

 No thanks are we given, except shown the door

.. perhaps this was planned all along?

  We are not the community they want,

 we're shown no respect.

Blazing banners dropped like bombs

 on top of our lives what did they expect?

 Creative people to roll over and comply?

 Hell, no.....so many are saying Goodbye  

 **Please follow the cute puppies and turn your backs on the banner ads, tell ten friends...it eventually will hurt AOL.  Thanks much...Sandi

Agreement

 

  Shadows play across my mind.
Past events in silhouettes,

 cascading gently through time.

 Lifting away the veil to see through the years.
My heart knows I loved you
even with my tears.    

   Living, laughing, loving, longing.
What joy there was in giving.
Back to a time that you were mine.
Once again to know the feeling
sublime.

The earth shook and the fireworks
were awesome...boy, we were living.

It thrills my soul that I have
found my true love once more.
Who can say what went wrong 
how did I not you adore?
Why did we quarrel? Why did we fight?

 Oh, my dear, I do not care as long as we make it right.
  So let's just say that I love you
and you love me, on this we can agree.
I've grown a little more indifferent,
you have grown more in spirit.
Perhaps we're better matched
in this time and space.
Then we ever were in the other place. 

  Sandi/2005   Picture Credit..my son Kenji and his magnificient view of New York City on the 4th of July....just beautiful....

One of My Favorite Poems

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952

This poem says it all.

 

Bits and Pieces

Bits and pieces hang swinging high in trees
Life treasures so carelessly tossed.
Faces staring blankly in two's and three's.
Stumble along intently seeking relief, looking
for the lost.

Gentle people old, young - hearts melted.
Fear on the faces of the children I behold.

Wring their hands at such a sight
Mighty men try with all their might
to rescue the most.

Scenes of devastation as the city is lost
Nothing could stop it, nature gone wild
at such a cost.

Oh, my heart weeps at what I must view.
The City with soul shall rise again, as
a Phoenix from the ashes nothing less will do.

Oh, ye Gods of fate one would go and one
would stay.
How high will the count go?
Believe me I don't want to know.
Dear Lord there has to be a better way and
hear our prayers for better days